
Artificial Intelligence algorithms of social media platforms like Instagram are fueling a self-optimization craze among users. With the goal of enabling perfect self-love, AI-driven apps are sowing self-hatred on an unprecedented scale. When am I perfect? When can I be happy with myself? And when will trying to make me perfect cause irreparable damage? Nele Konradine Finger dives into the abyss.
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What is your ‘aesthetic’? ‘Skinny’ or ‘curvy girl’? ‘Body positivity’! A ‘five-step workout’ for your ‘hourglass figure.’ Exercise is important, but don’t overdo it. Too much muscle makes you look masculine. Why let yourself go? ‘10-minute abs workout.’
Replace your bread with lettuce and it tastes almost the same! ‘Low carb’ sandwich. ‘Girl dinner.’ Do you still eat meat? Why don’t you think about the environment and animals? How unhealthy, it’s full of pesticides! Being vegan can’t be healthy. Where do you get your food?
Fast food is poison for your body. But don’t you want your soul to be happy too? ‘What I eat in a day.’ One nut, one apple, one egg. But all ‘organic’!
Do you know the new ‘food trend’? ‘Dubai chocolate.’ I don’t eat white sugar. What, you want a Snickers? Make it yourself, with dates. Frozen grapes taste like gummy bears. Replace them. When you want chocolate, your body is actually telling you something else. Eat an almond instead.
‘Intuitive eating.’ Additives ruin your body. Replace them with the new protein powder. Use it in your coffee, on your bread, in your water. ‘Meal prep.’
Do you have electrolytes? They make your skin look better. ‘Hot girl summer.’ Do you have oily skin or need the new moisturizer? ‘Pimple patch.’ What’s your ‘makeup blindness’? Lip liner, eyebrow gel, bronzer, blush. How can you improve? Try ‘no-makeup-makeup.’ Don’t try too hard. ‘Glow up.’ No one wants to see how hard you try. ‘Morning shed.’ Hyaluronic acid, retinol, collagen. ‘Get ready with me.’
You should start exercising your facial muscles or you’ll get wrinkles as you get older! ‘Gua sha.’ Make your laugh lines disappear.’ Glasscutting jawline.’ At 40, you look like you’re 20. ‘Aging is beautiful,’ but don’t do it too soon. ‘Facelift, Botox, lip injections.’
Normalize your body hair. Have you ever thought about shaving your forehead? It’s great for your skin and your makeup will last longer. ‘Glazed donut.’ Find out your skin type, your hair type, your ‘hair care routine.’
What shampoo do you need for your ‘blonde girl era’? Try ‘hair oiling.’ Rosemary oil makes your hair grow faster. You should try ‘overnight heatless curling.’ Too much heat is bad for your hair. Have you tried the new multi-hair styler? ‘80s blowout.’ ‘What are we going to wear this summer?’ What colors, what aesthetic for this fall? ‘Pumpkin spice.’
Don’t you have a well-planned daily routine? Where’s your calendar? Did you get enough done today? Did you get closer to your best self today? Successful people rise before the sun. Getting enough sleep is important, track it! What about your blood pressure? Your blood sugar? Your ‘skin barrier’? Get healthier, be the healthiest. Self-optimization.
Be your best self. Don’t you go to Pilates after class, after work, after your ‘cozy afternoon study session’? How do you manage your ‘work-life balance’? You have to make time for your family.
You have to learn to be alone. But where are your girls? Aren’t you a ‘girls’ girl’? Are you already in your ‘healing era’?Are you a ‘single girl era’ or in your ‘lovergirl era’?
Who do you drink your matcha latte with? But please don’t use cow’s milk. It’s way too unhealthy. Use oat, almond, soy, cashew, coconut. I hope you roll your own cigarettes though, otherwise it wouldn’t be very Gen Z of you.
‘Digital detox.’ ‘Get ready with me’ putting away my phone and reading a book. ‘Mindfulness.’ Reading fiction? Try self-help. Are you tweaked enough? Heal your inner child! ‘Childhood trauma.’ Therapy yourself. Therapy me. ‘Hurt people hurt people.’ Generational trauma.
Heal yourself before you can connect with others. You can only heal if you’re in a relationship. You need to keep a journal. Writing it all down is the only way you can heal. Why don’t you go to therapy? You can only process if you talk about it.
If you have the right incense, you can start loving yourself. There’s a full moon tomorrow. Do your tarot reading now. Crystals, incense, self-fulfillment. Jupiter is in the right position for manifestation. Manifest your ‘rich girl era.’ Get your life together.
Be better. Be the best version of yourself. Be perfect. But why are you so unhappy? You just need to be yourself.